Mixed emotions…

Before I truly begin this post there are a few things I must do:

1. Take a deep breath

2. Que music – this will inspire and relax

3. Grabbing a box of Kleenex because I know at some point during this post I will cry.

4. Last but not least: taking a hold of my giant teddy bear. (Will share at a different time)

Emotions have taken over me this week, almost to the point of sheer exhaustion. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and one can always tell how I am feeling and sometimes I really HATE that. There are times I would just rather crawl into a hole, let them work themselves out, shake it off, and move on with out anyone else getting involved, or hurt.

Do you ever feel like some people are better off not ever knowing you? This week has brought those feelings on to me. Deep down, I don’t REALLY think that is true, but it makes me wonder sometimes. Do my actions cause others pain and suffering? For some, I suppose, but I would like to think that I bring a bit of sunshine to most of those that I meet. Am I strong enough to continue to reach out to people with the possibility of getting hurt, again? I guess getting hurt is inevitable sometimes because you cannot control the person you reach out to. All that I can do is offer love and friendship and hope that is strong enough for the both of us.

To those that have stuck by my side, thank you!

To those that I have hurt, I am sorry!

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~ by KarrieLyne on October 4, 2007.

2 Responses to “Mixed emotions…”

  1. baby, once again I am driven to respond. I am here to say that, yes regardless of what you might want or what are meaning to have happen, how much you may mean well, it is inevitable that you will disappoint or hurt someone. It will take you by surprise and you will be affected by it. I know you are probably waiting to hear me say I am just joking, I can’t do that.

    I will strongly suggest that you grow a thick skin quick. How does one do this? Try to understand that no matter what, It is not your fault. You have to be true to yourself no matter what, and learn to say “fuck it”. Take some time to breathe and to get over it. Because 9 times out of 10 their reactions have nothing to do with you. It is simply that you may be challenging them to realize things about themselves that they are not ready to admit to themselves, so it is easier to lash out at you- maybe because they know you will always be there, no matter what, because of who you are- than start looking within themselves to change how they are doing things.

    Ok so every situation is different and it may not seem as cut and dry as that, and it probably isn’t. I don’t know the exact experience you are dealing with, but I am talking generally about a specific experience that I have had, actually possibly several different experiences. So I know sort of something about it.

    At the beginning of the day you must realize that if your always busy worrying about other people, how other people feel how other people are affected by you, when are you worrying about yourself, when are you taking care of yourself, making sure you are as healthy as you can be- mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

    So um, that’s it and. I am a bit hungry so I think I will grab some breakfast. I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight and hopefully I’ll have the kinks worked out. This is turning into a bit of a thing with us, huh.

    Love always
    Todd (Filo)

  2. Sweetie… the world is a better place for having you in it. Don’t ever doubt that. And my world? I couldn’t live without you! You bring, love, friendship, laughter, compassion… the list goes on…. into my life. You are the good half of my heart Baby Twin.

    I know there have been some rough patches this week… but no one could ever think that their life would be better not knowing you.

    Hold on… don’t let go! I love you forever!

    Little Sis

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